belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
