If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
