So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
