I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
