well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
