1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
