I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
