let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
