doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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