how can u be prego again
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
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