he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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