i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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