I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize