can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
