Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
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