He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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