Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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