I can tuck mytits in my pants
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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