My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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