I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
