the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
