Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
