I want to walk on stilts...naked
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
