1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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