While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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