I am puke
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
