he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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