thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
he shaved USA in his pubs
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
