dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
