it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
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