tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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