Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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