yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She's the barista slut.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
