he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
