Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
