don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
