I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
