"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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