As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
