Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
They are going to name an STD after you.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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