you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
