His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
