Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?