i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
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