Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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