watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
