My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
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I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
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I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize