i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
