I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
