who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
