cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
