Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
