ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
