Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Too much gin, very little bucket
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
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puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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