Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
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