About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
