I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
