"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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