i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Randomize
