HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
