thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
