He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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