Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
