we're blogging at a bar
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Just cropdusted the office
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
