If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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